The big idea for becoming an effective leader is to shift from directing to connecting. Imagine standing on one end of a bridge as your team members stand on the other side. Leaders who “direct” point to their side of the bridge and say, “Come on over here and I’ll show you the way.” Leaders who “connect” walk to the other side of the bridge where the team members are to meet and walk across together. 

My personal leadership shift has been slow and steady, partly because some of my role-models were more of the director-type. It worked, it just didn’t seem to bring out the best in me (or others).

Here is a short list to shifting from “directing” to being a connected leader:
1. Meet people on their side of the bridge (aka, meet them where they are)
2. Communicate that their ideas are valued.
3. Share common ideas and strategies, work as true partners.
4. Listen and learn by asking follow-up questions. A leader must be an effective listener.
5. Make real-time adjustments based on feedback from others.
6. Settle on a mutual-winning game plan.
7. Don’t create followers, create a true leader of influence, impact, and inspiration of others.
8. Check in and celebrate small victories. Don’t forget about the big victories too! Sincerely take interest in the success of others.

Remember, emotional intelligence has a lot to do with social skills. I assert that most leaders today can usually trace their successes (and failures) to their relationships. Learn to cultivate the skill of connecting and find common ground.

One of my favorite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln, “I do not like that man. I must get to know him better.” I think this is a principle we can all be more conscious of.

Here’s to shifting from directing to connecting!

– Steve